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the power of words
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in fingers and fretboards' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, May 13th, 2012
1:14 pm
dream journal 1
It felt as if years passed by. I have dreamt like this in a long time. I know it was induced by beer and the absence of weed. My dreams are a lot more vivid ever since I quit smoking weed. I remained lucid through out most the episodes. The stories are unclear, but many of the images were significant enough to become consolidated into my long term memory. I remember witnessing the release of a new xbox in the distant future. Maybe I remember it become of the conversation I had with my brothers about the ugliness of the controller. It was silver and very large. It looked like a stretched out n64 controller. I'm probably destroying the image using poor description. The lucidity was like no other. I enjoyed it so much that I woke up happier than usual and at terms with the uneventfulness of my waking life. I created my own vehicle while exploring the detailed scenery presented to me by mind-at-large. I had incredible control over my automatic scooter. For some reason it seemed like the most enjoyable vehicle for cruising. The most vivid and exciting part of the scenery was the sunset. It was blasting with rays of purple and pink. The vastness seemed infinite just like the waking life. The land was endless plains of green. Out of nowhere I approached apartment buildings. I lost my lucidity at this point in dream life. I was driving my minivan and I saw Mitchell climbing down the stairs. I don't remember if he was exiting or entering his apartment. I was too scared to approach him. The next dream was the reoccurring mall dream. The shape of this mall is very strange. I always enter on the second floor and go downstairs in order to browse the stores that I enjoy. Theres always a skate shop along with fancier clothing stores. The next dream was too good to be true. I should have been able to achieve lucidity because of it was very obvious that it was a dream. I was with a brunette girl. We walked through out this strange mall with irreproducible affection for each other. We were constantly holding each other and laughing. The girls I meet in my dreams are too good to be true....the same way tess was too good to be true. I enjoyed these dreams so much that I have something to look forward to now. My waking life is justified through them.
Sunday, May 6th, 2012
10:37 pm
I'm proud of her
even though my pride
for her
is the outcome
of cognitive dissonance
Of justified investment
it was nothing
for her
this ladder to climb
I'm proud of her
Friday, April 6th, 2012
6:36 pm
like thorns from a plant prick you
fangs from a snake bite you
like the itch from poison ivy
the itch from dry winds
like the heat from another body
the heat from the sun
like the talons cuts
the cacti cuts
Friday, February 3rd, 2012
12:39 am
The Reducing Valve
Huxley turned my brain back on after society implanted a giant reducing valve into my brain. All my data I collect through sensory organs has been reduced into relevant words. I've been inspired to create a wordless piece of music about "the reducing valve." Huxley writes about how we humans reduce our data into words and even simpler than words; we reduce data into words associate with emotions conditioned by society. I haven't written in a while so please forgive my poor and somewhat even maniacal articulation. I want to use my WMD bit crusher in a unique way. I don't have all my equipment with me so I though I'd keep the cranks turning in my brain by writing about it. The Reducing Valve with be a melody. It will remain consistent in melody, but it will vary textural as it progresses. Sounds will get reduced as they pass through the melody. It's too early to give "reduced" a definite meaning. I'd like for it to damage the flowing sounds at interesting points. I want some sort of pattern, but of course nothing too obvious. I want part of the melody to be most reducing. The reducing valve will reduce a lot harder at D#. Just a sloppy example. The reducing valve should function as if it were a cleaning machine. I'm imagining a vacuum now. Perhaps all the sounds could be samples from things that reduce. Vacuum cleaners reduce the pollutants from your carpet. I'd like to sample the muffin machine swallowing loaded hard drives or even whole PCs.
Monday, January 30th, 2012
12:07 am
datasphere monitoring system
I'm not conscious when I'm not inspired
I'm throwing away information
removing it from the self
trying to fit into a
culture of ignorance
Friday, October 28th, 2011
6:53 pm
The resonant nature of tin hollow balls bouncing
In a tunnel. In a reverb chamber big enough for the golfers
small enough to be a tunnel and stable or unstable enough
so its just that a resonant tunnel. Not resonant enough
to be a portal. Energy is misplaced or placed perfectly
by gravity. This pull or that pull. All pulls.
A melody.
Monday, September 5th, 2011
11:45 am
infinite patterns of soft pastel colors
infinite patterns of soft pastel colors
the self aghast the moment before
blazing in every heart beat
blazing with paranoia and excitement
supernatural intelligence or a split self
something other than me
fucking with me
demanding my respect
turning my life into an object
the drug spoke to me as it
ripped me into thin strips of
self. "What if I didn't glue you
back together" In a mischievous tone
the dome of soft pastel greens patterns
white, green, light grey
so dull, yet it was set aghast
by the moment before
Saturday, July 23rd, 2011
7:39 pm
Its not death I'm worried about
Its dying
the strongest psychedelic
known to consciousness
the many ways
the art of
slipping out of consciousness
What about our memories
12:06 pm
here I am prior
to the death of my ego
telling myself
repeating to myself
before completely losing
the stupid misconception
of the self
repeating to myself
that neurons that fire
Thursday, July 21st, 2011
6:51 pm
You are the thoughts you think you are thoughts when in fact the thought you think make you you only one you've realized that the self can be reduced to a thought can be reduced to a sentence.
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
2:54 pm
so much stimuli
i deserve a brand new prize
reject and gain gold
2:52 pm
I tend to misshape
Outlet of mine. Ego death.
No meaning for you

Obsession. INTrest
How iS It SuPPose TO BE?
Sunday, July 17th, 2011
2:10 pm
There is no smallest particle
if there was
then there would
be an end to infinite
god would ultimately
have a weakness
not so ultimate is god
not so cosmic if it
can be broken down into pieces
if there are infinite pieces
are there really any
to begin with?
Friday, July 15th, 2011
1:21 pm
became so strong all day long
that I was a song
Thursday, July 14th, 2011
2:49 pm
When you die you will slip into five minutes of dream time. Time will be measure by the alive. You will be in purgatory waiting for an epiphany which will bring you peace before you submerge into infinite pleasure. I believe its either a hit or miss since we don't have complete control over our brain activity. The idea main idea is that you need to achieve lucidity in order to allow consciousness to fade into infinite pleasure. I believe there's a rational way to describe heaven. Heaven is pleasant memories overpowering unpleasant memories in order to create an infinite world of euphoria. You'll never know that you've died. You'll simply just slip away while enjoying one last slam of euphoria. You're whole life is a waste if you don't die properly. Make as many pleasant memories as possible. Don't fear death if you know you're living the way you should be living. Earlier in my journal, I wrote that life is about creating the white light you will walk into when you die. I still stand by that piece of poem, but now I want to focus on something greater than the ability to dream dream lucidly. I want to focus on astral architecture. Astral Architecture is a meditative practice. During meditation one must learn to create his temple. This is temple you will go to during purgatory. Build a strong stable temple during meditation so you can go there during purgatory rather than dissipating into a chaotic state of consciousness.
2:36 pm
So far it appears that yoga exhibits the most amount of pleasure. After letting my body take control and choose positions on its not, I've been able to tap into a realm of abundant pleasure. I need to do more research in order to bring the matter out of laymen terms and hoist this idea onto academic grounds. It would be selfish for me to keep this to myself. I believe what I tapped into is kundalini yoga. My body somehow just new what it wanted. The pleasure of the body is directly related to the pleasure of the mind. I need to attack this from a neurological perspective rather than a transpersonal psychological perspective. What does it truly mean to release toxins from the muscles? I know for sure that yoga is associated with complex neuropsychological activity rather than simple magic.
2:20 pm
Man paints the nebulae
The way He perceives it
from deep with in
in between your eyes and
the object there is so much
more. So much more
You only see when you're painting
Tuesday, July 12th, 2011
12:53 am
new song
5 long drones
3 arpegios
16 echo loops
8 glitches
6 choppy parts
8 fade out ending
12:21 am
I'm so ashamed of my verbal articulation that I am at most times too ashamed to write. Its possible that I'm not worried by using the wrong words. Perhaps I'm not comfortable jotting down my memories at this point in my life, because I'm too ambitious to be proud of them. I'm proud of a sentence every now and then. Sometimes it'll be something I've blurted out during mid-epiphany. I'm afraid that once I verbalize my memories, I might erase most the fog that keeps me afloat. Instantly, I could potentially lose my fucking mind. I've striven so hard to find it. To create it actually. I am now able to further improve myself at a faster rate, because I've singled out the challenge. Life is all about overcoming challenges. Life is all about self construction and especially now. Especially now that we've confirmed that the brain is plastic. Neurosynthesize your minds eye.
Thursday, June 30th, 2011
11:58 am
My past self owes my present self an apology
perhaps I'm content with all selves
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